The World’s Strongest
by annegoddamn
Summary: Being married to a dual-personality woman has its perks.


**Hey, you could have seen this first on Archive of Our Own! Head on over to my new account - annegoddamn - for more content!**

Yeah, I just wanted to write something quick about Bulma's interactions with both Launches, and it turned into this thing. Don't ask. It all kind of came out, at once.

* * *

Bulma downed another glass of wine. The only way she was going to get through, today, was through alcohol. She was another year older, and was hosting a huge party to celebrate it. This party was going to be either a huge success or a disaster. Either way, she wasn't going to go through it sober.

"Bulma," Launch said, in a soft voice. "Maybe you shouldn't drink too much." She was trying to pry the wine bottle out of her hand, but couldn't. "C'mon, don't make me have to sneeze."

"Blondie would let me keep drinking."

"No, she would not. She would want you to be healthy and sober, for your big day. Did you forget who made you quit smoking?"

Bulma let go of the wine bottle and pouted. "You're not fun, anymore."

Launch got down in front of her, and held her hands. "It's not that I don't want you to have fun. I just want you to be around long enough to have all the fun that you want. I don't want you to end up killing yourself, with all of this poison. We haven't been together, long – I don't want it to get cut any shorter."

She just had to use those puppy dog eyes, in front of her. She could never say no, to that. She sighed. Why did she always know what to say? She swore her 'nice' side was more devious than the 'angry' one. "Okay. I'll try not to drink, for the rest of the party."

A bright smile formed on Launch's face. "Good. I'm glad. She stood up, and embraced her, straddling her hips. Bulma pushed her head into her chest, and ran her hands up and down her back, just how she knew she liked it.

"If Vegeta doesn't show up to this thing, I'm castrating him."

Launch giggled. "I'll hold him down, for you."

* * *

Of course, this had to happen. A big purple cat had to come and crash her big day. This was supposed to be all about her, but he had to ruin the whole party. Now, everyone was gathered around him. Even Vegeta was acting as his errand boy. He was doing more for him than he ever did for her, during their marriage. Bulma had put on a welcoming façade, but she was dying inside, while the smile was plastered on her face.

Launch knew her well enough to know when she was feeling like this. She started rubbing her shoulders and arms, as they watched him interacting with the rest of the guests.

"I'm not nearly drunk enough, for this crap," Bulma muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"It'll be over soon," Launch said, trying to be a voice of reason. "Just let this guy do what he wants, and then the party can keep going, like you wanted it to."

She was doing her best, but Bulma wasn't having any of her consoling, now. She would have given anything for Blondie to be here, instead.

Launch breathed in, as a hair fell in front of her nose. "Achoo!"

Oh, thank god.

She sniffed, and wiped her nose. She looked around, as if she wasn't sure how she got her. She looked down at her wife. "Party's looking kind of dead."

Bulma crossed her arms. "It was going perfectly, until that hairless ass right there came in and crashed the whole thing!"

Launch looked up, at Beerus. "Him?" She pointed at him. Bulma nodded. Launch quickly pushed her aside and strode over to him.

"Hey, furball!"

Beerus was distracted from his quest for Buu's pudding and glared down at Launch. "What do you want," he said, in a condescending tone.

"I don't appreciate you ruining my wife's birthday party, bucko! You better back off!"

"I'm sorry, but do you not know who I am?"

"You could be the king of everything, for all I care! No one makes MY Bulma upset and gets away with it!"

Vegeta looked like he was about to have a heart attack. He tried to push her away.

He turned to his assistant. "Whis, this one annoys me. Should I destroy her, and be done with it?"

Instead, she grabbed him by his collar and shook him. "Listen! Either you get your hairless ass off of this ship, or I'll shove my boot so far up your rectum that you'll need a colonoscopy to get it out of there! Got it?!"

His eyes were suddenly wide, as he was being shaken. Launch was breathing hard and glaring at him.

Beerus cleared his throat. "Very well. Whis?"

"Yes, my lord." Whis took a hold of his tail, and hit his staff on the ground. Within seconds, they were gone.

Everyone standing around blinked. They couldn't believe that had just happened. Where was Launch, all those years ago? Maybe all of the villains would have just left, if they let her loose around them.

Launch stood up, with her hands on her hips. "Yeah, you better run!" She proudly walked over to Bulma.

She wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "Did you say 'my Bulma'?"

"Damn right. You better not forget that."

She giggled. "How could I?" She initiated a kiss, which quickly turned heated. Launch picked her up, bridal style, and carried her to the cruise ship's quarters. "Party's over! That's for coming!" She waved to them, and blew them kisses.

The guests stood on the ship deck, confused and shocked.

* * *

"Whis?"

"Yes, my lord?"

"….was that the Super Saiyan God?"


End file.
